What the scriptures say about self-respect

What do the scriptures say about self-respect?

The texts call it tejas (तेजस्). Inner fire that does not shrink before the strong. Listed with kṣamā and dhṛti (16.3) so that neither is read without the other. They set it against fear, feeling unworthy and being wronged.

152 verses
49 stories
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Krishna

तेजः क्षमा धृतिः शौचमद्रोहो नातिमानिता । भवन्ति सम्पदं दैवीमभिजातस्य भारत ॥

tejaḥ kṣamā dhṛtiḥ śaucamadroho nātimānitā | bhavanti sampadaṃ daivīmabhijātasya bhārata ||

vigour, forgiveness, fortitude, purity, freedom from malice and from excessive pride: these belong to one born with the divine nature, Bharata.

Bhagavad Gita 16.3

Self-respect in the texts' own words

Verses that show it in a person, or name it outright.

Krishna
तेजः क्षमा धृतिः शौचमद्रोहो नातिमानिता । भवन्ति सम्पदं दैवीमभिजातस्य भारत ॥
tejaḥ kṣamā dhṛtiḥ śaucamadroho nātimānitā | bhavanti sampadaṃ daivīmabhijātasya bhārata ||
vigour, forgiveness, fortitude, purity, freedom from malice and from excessive pride: these belong to one born with the divine nature, Bharata.
Bhagavad Gita 16.3
Prahlada (quoted by Draupadi)
न श्रेयः सततं तेजो न नित्यं श्रेयसी क्षमा / इति तात विजानीहि द्वयमेतदसंशयम्
na śreyaḥ satataṃ tejo na nityaṃ śreyasī kṣamā / iti tāta vijānīhi dvayametadasaṃśayam
Force is not always best, and forgiveness is not always best. Know this for certain, my child: both have their place.
Mahabharata · Vana Parva · Vana: Draupadi and Yudhishthira
Seer
स नैव व्यभवत् तच्छ्रेयो रूपमत्यसृजत धर्मम् । तदेतत्क्षत्रस्य क्षत्रं यद्धर्मस्तस्माद्धर्मात् परं नास्त्यथो अबलीयान् बलीयाꣳसमाशꣳसते धर्मेण यथा राज्ञैवम् । यो वै स धर्मः सत्यं वै तत् तस्मात्सत्यं वदन्तमाहुर्धर्मं वदतीति धर्मं वा वदन्तꣳ सत्यं वदतीत्येतद्ध्येवैतदुभयं भवति ॥
sa naiva vyabhavat tacchreyo rūpamatyasṛjata dharmam | tadetatkṣatrasya kṣatraṃ yaddharmastasmāddharmāt paraṃ nāstyatho abalīyān balīyāꣳsamāśaꣳsate dharmeṇa yathā rājñaivam | yo vai sa dharmaḥ satyaṃ vai tat tasmātsatyaṃ vadantamāhurdharmaṃ vadatīti dharmaṃ vā vadantaꣳ satyaṃ vadatītyetaddhyevaitadubhayaṃ bhavati ||
Still he did not flourish. So he created a higher form, dharma. Dharma is the power over power; nothing is higher than dharma. Through dharma even a weak man can stand up to a strong one, as with the help of a king. That dharma is truth. So people say of one who speaks truth, 'He speaks dharma,' and of one who speaks dharma, 'He speaks truth.' Both are the same.
Brihadaranyaka Upanishad 1.4.14

How it grows, step by step

Sequences the texts state outright, in their own order.

Not always force, not always forgiveness

Mahabharata, Vana Parva 28-29

Prahlada, quoted by Draupadi, states that force is not always better and forgiveness is not always better. A person who always forgives is walked over by servants, strangers, and enemies. A person who never forgives is feared and hated. One should forgive the first offence and the one done in ignorance and know the time for each. Yudhishthira answers with the praise of forgiveness, and the epic lets both stand.

Prahlada (quoted by Draupadi)
न श्रेयः सततं तेजो न नित्यं श्रेयसी क्षमा / इति तात विजानीहि द्वयमेतदसंशयम्
na śreyaḥ satataṃ tejo na nityaṃ śreyasī kṣamā / iti tāta vijānīhi dvayametadasaṃśayam
Force is not always best, and forgiveness is not always best. Know this for certain, my child: both have their place.
Mahabharata · Vana Parva · Vana: Draupadi and Yudhishthira
Vidura
एकः क्षमावतां दोषो द्वितीयो नोपपद्यते / यदेनं क्षमया युक्तमशक्तं मन्यते जनः सोऽस्य दोषो न मन्तव्यः क्षमा हि परमं बलम् / क्षमा गुणो ह्यशक्तानां शक्तानां भूषणं क्षमा
ekaḥ kṣamāvatāṃ doṣo dvitīyo nopapadyate / yadenaṃ kṣamayā yuktamaśaktaṃ manyate janaḥ so’sya doṣo na mantavyaḥ kṣamā hi paramaṃ balam / kṣamā guṇo hyaśaktānāṃ śaktānāṃ bhūṣaṇaṃ kṣamā
The forgiving have one fault and no second: people take a forgiving person to be weak. That should not be counted against him, for forgiveness is the greatest strength. In the weak it is a virtue; in the strong it is an ornament.
Mahabharata · Udyoga Parva · Vidura Niti
Brihaspati (retold by Bhishma)
मृदुमप्यवमन्यन्ते तीक्ष्णादुद्विजते जनः / मातीक्ष्णो मा मृदुर्भूस्त्वं तीक्ष्णो भव मृदुर्भव
mṛdumapyavamanyante tīkṣṇādudvijate janaḥ / mātīkṣṇo mā mṛdurbhūstvaṃ tīkṣṇo bhava mṛdurbhava
People look down even on the gentle, and they shrink from the harsh. Do not be only harsh, do not be only soft: be firm when firmness is needed and gentle when gentleness is.
Mahabharata · Shanti Parva · Bhishma, Rajadharma

We are what our thoughts have made us

Vivekananda, Inspired Talks; Jaffna 1897

what our thoughts have made us
becoming
Feeling unworthy
Self-respect

Our thoughts make us what we are. If you think you are weak, you will be weak. The remedy for weakness is thinking of strength, not brooding over weakness.

We are what our thoughts have made us; so take care of what you think.
Swami Vivekananda
If you think yourselves weak, weak you will be; if you think yourselves strong, strong you will be;
Swami Vivekananda
The remedy for weakness is not brooding over weakness, but thinking of strength.
Swami Vivekananda

Humble first, firm after

Valmiki Ramayana, Yuddha Kanda 21-22; Ramcharitmanas, Sundar Kand 57-58 (Gita Press)

humility
Being wronged
Self-respect
bridge

Vibhishan advises asking the ocean first, though Rama has the power to force it. Rama asks humbly for three days and is ignored. He says his patience was taken for weakness and calm, forbearance and kind words do not work on those who do not value them. He takes up the bow. The ocean appears and shows the way the bridge can be built.

Nala
समर्थश्चाप्यहं सेतुं कर्तुं वै वरुणालये। तस्मादद्यैव बध्नन्तु सेतुं वानरपुङ्गवाः॥
samarthaścāpyahaṃ setuṃ kartuṃ vai varuṇālaye| tasmādadyaiva badhnantu setuṃ vānarapuṅgavāḥ||
I too am able to build a bridge across the ocean. So let the best of the monkeys start building it this very day.
Valmiki Ramayana · Yuddha Kanda

The chariot that wins

Ramcharitmanas, Lanka Kand 80 (Gita Press)

Ram
सौरज धीरज तेहि रथ चाका। सत्य सील दृढ़ ध्वजा पताका॥ बल बिबेक दम परहित घोरे। छमा कृपा समता रजु जोरे ॥
sauraj dhīraj tehi rath cākā| satya sīl dṛṛh dhvajā patākā|| bal bibek dam parahit ghore| chamā kṛpā samatā raju jore ||
Valour and patience are the wheels of that chariot; truth and good conduct are its firm flag and banner. Strength, discernment, self-control and kindness to others are its horses, yoked with the reins of forgiveness, compassion and evenness of mind.
Ramcharitmanas · Lanka Kand

What it heals

The states the texts set it against.

Fear Feeling unworthy Being wronged

Practices that grow self-respect

Verses that give something to do, today or in the hard moment.

Krishna
उद्धरेदात्मनाऽऽत्मानं नात्मानमवसादयेत् । आत्मैव ह्यात्मनो बन्धुरात्मैव रिपुरात्मनः ॥
uddharedātmanā’’tmānaṃ nātmānamavasādayet | ātmaiva hyātmano bandhurātmaiva ripurātmanaḥ ||
Raise yourself by your own self; do not let yourself sink. For the self alone is the friend of the self, and the self alone is the enemy of the self.
Bhagavad Gita 6.5
Shows self-respect lifting you. our reading
Bhartrihari
जाड्यं धियो हरति सिञ्चति वाचि सत्यं मानोन्नतिं दिशति पापमपाकरोति । चेतः प्रसादयति दिक्षु तनोति कीर्तिं सत्सङ्गतिः कथय किं न करोति पुंसाम् ॥
jāḍyaṃ dhiyo harati siñcati vāci satyaṃ mānonnatiṃ diśati pāpamapākaroti | cetaḥ prasādayati dikṣu tanoti kīrtiṃ satsaṅgatiḥ kathaya kiṃ na karoti puṃsām ||
Good company takes dullness from the mind, sprinkles truth into speech, raises one's dignity, removes wrongdoing, clears the heart and spreads one's good name in every direction. Tell me, what does good company not do for a person?
Bhartrihari · Niti Shatakam
Bhartrihari
रे रे चातक सावधानमनसा मित्र क्षणं श्रूयताम् अम्भोदा बहवो वसन्ति गगने सर्वेऽपि नैकादृशाः । केचिद्वृष्टिभिरार्द्रयन्ति धरणीं गर्जन्ति केचिद्वृथा यं यं पश्यसि तस्य तस्य पुरतो मा ब्रूहि दीनं वचः ॥
re re cātaka sāvadhānamanasā mitra kṣaṇaṃ śrūyatām ambhodā bahavo vasanti gagane sarve’pi naikādṛśāḥ | kecidvṛṣṭibhirārdrayanti dharaṇīṃ garjanti kecidvṛthā yaṃ yaṃ paśyasi tasya tasya purato mā brūhi dīnaṃ vacaḥ ||
Friend chataka, listen carefully for a moment. Many clouds live in the sky, but not all are alike. Some drench the earth with rain; some only thunder for nothing. Do not speak pleading words before every cloud you see.
Bhartrihari · Niti Shatakam
Keeps asking for those who can and will help. our reading
Bhartrihari
दुर्जनः परिहर्तव्यो विद्ययालङ्कृतोऽपि सन् । मणिना भूषितः सर्पः किमसौ न भयङ्करः ॥
durjanaḥ parihartavyo vidyayālaṅkṛto’pi san | maṇinā bhūṣitaḥ sarpaḥ kimasau na bhayaṅkaraḥ ||
A wicked person should be avoided, even if adorned with learning. Is a snake any less frightening because it wears a jewel?
Bhartrihari · Niti Shatakam
Permission to keep away. our reading
Dharmavyadha (the righteous meat-seller)
यत्कल्याणमभिध्यायेत्तत्रात्मानं नियोजयेत् / न पापं प्रति पापः स्यात्साधुरेव सदा भवेत्
yatkalyāṇamabhidhyāyettatrātmānaṃ niyojayet / na pāpaṃ prati pāpaḥ syātsādhureva sadā bhavet
Keep your mind on what is good and commit yourself to it. Do not become wicked in return for wickedness; always remain good.
Mahabharata · Vana Parva · Vyadha Gita
Keeps goodness as one's own, not surrendered to the other's conduct. our reading
Draupadi
न त्वेवात्माऽवमन्तव्यः पुरुषेण कदाचन / न ह्यात्मपरिभूतस् भूतिर्भवति शोभना
na tvevātmā’vamantavyaḥ puruṣeṇa kadācana / na hyātmaparibhūtas bhūtirbhavati śobhanā
A person should never look down on himself. The one who despises himself never finds real prosperity.
Mahabharata · Vana Parva · Vana: Draupadi and Yudhishthira
Names self-respect as the root of flourishing. our reading
Vidura
इदं च त्वां सर्वपरं ब्रवीमि / पुण्यं पदं तात महाविशिष्टम् / न जातु कामान्न भयान्न लोभा- / द्धर्मं जह्याज्जीविस्यापि हेतोः
idaṃ ca tvāṃ sarvaparaṃ bravīmi / puṇyaṃ padaṃ tāta mahāviśiṣṭam / na jātu kāmānna bhayānna lobhā- / ddharmaṃ jahyājjīvisyāpi hetoḥ
Here is the highest thing I can tell you, the purest and most valuable: never abandon what is right, not out of desire, not out of fear, not out of greed, not even to save your life.
Mahabharata · Udyoga Parva · Vidura Niti
Shows integrity that cannot be bought or frightened. our reading
Shiva
जदपि मित्र प्रभु पितु गुर गेहा। जाइअ बिनु बोलेहुँ न सँदेहा॥ तदपि बिरोध मान जहँ कोई। तहाँ गएँ कल्यानु न होई ॥
jadapi mitra prabhu pitu gur gehā| jāia binu bolehuṁ na saṁdehā|| tadapi birodh mān jahaṁ koī| tahāṁ gaeṁ kalyānu na hoī ||
It is true that one may go uninvited to the home of a friend, a master, a father or a teacher. Yet where someone holds hostility toward you, no good comes of going there.
Ramcharitmanas · Bal Kand
Names self-respect declining a room that holds contempt. our reading

People who lived it

Someone in the scriptures came to this, and the story shows how.

From the Poets and saints
Vairagyashatakam: Dialogue between the ascetic and the king
An ascetic tells a king who ignores him that learning equals wealth, that contentment in bark equals contentment in silk, and that pride over a few towns is a fever.
When the mind is content, nobody is richer than you.
From the Poets and saints
Vairagyashatakam: Censure of craving
The poet confesses everything he did for money and approval: digging for treasure, flattering kings, forcing laughter. He ends with the famous lines that pleasures consumed us and craving never aged, and hope pictured as a river.
We think we are chasing things; really, the chase is using up our lives.
From the Mahabharata
Yudhishthira's case for peace
Before Krishna sets out as peace envoy, Yudhishthira opens his heart: poverty humiliates, greed corrodes, victory breeds enmity, and hostility is never ended by hostility. He asks only for five villages.
Winning a feud still costs you peace. Hostility only ends when someone stops feeding it.
From the Mahabharata
Vidula rouses her defeated son
Kunti sends Yudhishthira the old story of Queen Vidula, who finds her son lying defeated after losing his kingdom. She shames, then reasons, then encourages him until he rises and fights for it again.
Past failure doesn't define you. Results are uncertain, but those who never try never succeed.

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Questions people ask

What is the Sanskrit word for self-respect?

Tejas (तेजस्). Dignity, self-respect, courage.

Which Bhagavad Gita verse speaks about self-respect?

Bhagavad Gita 16.3: vigour, forgiveness, fortitude, purity, freedom from malice and from excessive pride: these belong to one born with the divine nature, Bharata.

Verses, translations and stories come from the Wisdom library, read with the traditional commentaries. A line marked stated in the text is a link the verse or a named commentator makes; our reading is Wisdom's own reading of the verse.