Bhagavad Gita on family problems
The Mahabharata is a family story, and the Gita is spoken at its worst moment, with Arjuna facing his own relatives. Krishna’s teaching on duty, fairness and steadiness was given for exactly this: the people closest to you, when it goes wrong.
Skip to the verse for your situation ↓5 verses from the Gita
- Bhagavad Gita 1.28 · Arjuna
Arjuna sees his own family on the other side, and his strength leaves him.
अर्जुन उवाचकृपया परयाऽऽविष्टो विषीदन्निदमब्रवीत् । दृष्ट्वेमं स्वजनं कृष्ण युयुत्सुं समुपस्थितम् ॥
“Arjuna said: Seeing my own people gathered here, eager for battle, I am overcome with pity and grief, O Krishna.”
अर्जुन बोले हे कृष्ण युद्ध की इच्छावाले इस कुटुम्बसमुदाय को अपने सामने उपस्थित देखकर मेरे अङ्ग शिथिल हो रहे हैं और मुख सूख रहा है तथा मेरे शरीर में कँपकँपी आ रही है एवं रोंगटे खड़े हो रहे हैं । हाथ से गाण्डीव धनुष गिर रहा है और त्वचा भी जल रही है । मेरा मन भ्रमितसा हो रहा है और मैं खड़े रहने में भी असमर्थ हो रहा हूँ ॥
Love can make violence feel unbearable, even when duty is waiting.
Meaning and commentary → - Bhagavad Gita 6.9 · Krishna
Even-minded towards well-wishers, the hostile and relatives alike.
सुहृन्मित्रार्युदासीनमध्यस्थद्वेष्यबन्धुषु । साधुष्वपि च पापेषु समबुद्धिर्विशिष्यते ॥
“The one whose understanding is equal toward friend, enemy, neutral person, mediator, hateful person, relative, the virtuous, and the sinful is श्रेष्ठ.”
सुहृद्, मित्र, वैरी, उदासीन, मध्यस्थ, द्वेष्य और सम्बन्धियोंमें तथा साधुआचरण करनेवालोंमें और पापआचरण करनेवालोंमें भी समबुद्धिवाला मनुष्य श्रेष्ठ है ॥
You stop being manipulated by preference and aversion, and that gives real inner freedom.
Meaning and commentary → - Bhagavad Gita 3.35 · Krishna
Your own duty, done imperfectly, over someone else’s done well.
श्रेयान्स्वधर्मो विगुणः परधर्मात्स्वनुष्ठितात् । स्वधर्मे निधनं श्रेयः परधर्मो भयावहः ॥
“Better is one's own duty, though imperfect, than another's duty well performed. Better death in one's own duty; another's duty is dangerous.”
अच्छी तरह आचरणमें लाये हुए दूसरेके धर्मसे गुणोंकी कमीवाला अपना धर्म श्रेष्ठ है । अपने धर्ममें तो मरना भी कल्याणकारक है और दूसरेका धर्म भयको देनेवाला है ॥
You can stop measuring yourself against others and return to the work that is actually yours.
Meaning and commentary → - Bhagavad Gita 12.13 · Krishna
Without hatred, friendly and compassionate to all.
अद्वेष्टा सर्वभूतानां मैत्रः करुण एव च । निर्ममो निरहङ्कारः समदुःखसुखः क्षमी ॥
“One who hates no being, is friendly and compassionate, free from possessiveness and ego, equal in pleasure and pain, and forgiving.”
सब प्राणियोंमें द्वेषभावसे रहित, सबका मित्र प्रेमी और दयालु, ममतारहित, अहंकाररहित, सुखदुःखकी प्राप्तिमें सम, क्षमाशील, निरन्तर सन्तुष्ट, योगी, शरीरको वशमें किये हुए, दृढ़ निश्चयवाला मेरेमें अर्पित मनबुद्धिवाला जो मेरा भक्त है, वह मेरेको प्रिय है ॥
You can be strong without being hard. Softness, steadiness, and forgiveness are signs of real devotion.
Meaning and commentary → - Bhagavad Gita 2.47 · Krishna
Do your part. You cannot control how they respond.
कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन । मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि ॥
“You have a right to action alone, never to its fruits. Do not become the cause of the result, and do not cling to inaction.”
कर्तव्यकर्म करनेमें ही तेरा अधिकार है, फलोंमें कभी नहीं । अतः तू कर्मफलका हेतु भी मत बन और तेरी अकर्मण्यतामें भी आसक्ति न हो ॥
There is relief in giving your full effort without carrying the burden of the result.
Meaning and commentary →