Bhagavad Gita on dealing with difficult people
The Gita’s whole setting is a conflict with people Arjuna knows well. It never tells him to pretend the harm is not real. It asks him to see clearly, to stay even towards friend and enemy, to do his own duty well, and not to take on the qualities he is facing.
Skip to the verse for your situation ↓5 verses from the Gita
- Bhagavad Gita 6.9 · Krishna
Equal-minded towards friends, enemies and those in between.
सुहृन्मित्रार्युदासीनमध्यस्थद्वेष्यबन्धुषु । साधुष्वपि च पापेषु समबुद्धिर्विशिष्यते ॥
“The one whose understanding is equal toward friend, enemy, neutral person, mediator, hateful person, relative, the virtuous, and the sinful is श्रेष्ठ.”
सुहृद्, मित्र, वैरी, उदासीन, मध्यस्थ, द्वेष्य और सम्बन्धियोंमें तथा साधुआचरण करनेवालोंमें और पापआचरण करनेवालोंमें भी समबुद्धिवाला मनुष्य श्रेष्ठ है ॥
You stop being manipulated by preference and aversion, and that gives real inner freedom.
Meaning and commentary → - Bhagavad Gita 12.13 · Krishna
The one dear to Krishna hates no being and is friendly and kind.
अद्वेष्टा सर्वभूतानां मैत्रः करुण एव च । निर्ममो निरहङ्कारः समदुःखसुखः क्षमी ॥
“One who hates no being, is friendly and compassionate, free from possessiveness and ego, equal in pleasure and pain, and forgiving.”
सब प्राणियोंमें द्वेषभावसे रहित, सबका मित्र प्रेमी और दयालु, ममतारहित, अहंकाररहित, सुखदुःखकी प्राप्तिमें सम, क्षमाशील, निरन्तर सन्तुष्ट, योगी, शरीरको वशमें किये हुए, दृढ़ निश्चयवाला मेरेमें अर्पित मनबुद्धिवाला जो मेरा भक्त है, वह मेरेको प्रिय है ॥
You can be strong without being hard. Softness, steadiness, and forgiveness are signs of real devotion.
Meaning and commentary → - Bhagavad Gita 16.4 · Krishna
Arrogance, harshness and anger: naming the qualities so you can see them.
दम्भो दर्पोऽभिमानश्च क्रोधः पारुष्यमेव च । अज्ञानं चाभिजातस्य पार्थ सम्पदमासुरीम् ॥
“O son of Pritha, hypocrisy, arrogance, self-importance, anger, harshness, and ignorance are the marks of one born with demonic qualities.”
हे पृथानन्दन दम्भ करना, घमण्ड करना, अभिमान करना, क्रोध करना, कठोरता रखना और अविवेकका होना भी ये सभी आसुरीसम्पदाको प्राप्त हुए मनुष्यके लक्षण हैं ॥
It feels clarifying to name the habits that poison character before they harden into identity.
Meaning and commentary → - Bhagavad Gita 3.35 · Krishna
Do your own duty, even imperfectly, rather than living someone else’s.
श्रेयान्स्वधर्मो विगुणः परधर्मात्स्वनुष्ठितात् । स्वधर्मे निधनं श्रेयः परधर्मो भयावहः ॥
“Better is one's own duty, though imperfect, than another's duty well performed. Better death in one's own duty; another's duty is dangerous.”
अच्छी तरह आचरणमें लाये हुए दूसरेके धर्मसे गुणोंकी कमीवाला अपना धर्म श्रेष्ठ है । अपने धर्ममें तो मरना भी कल्याणकारक है और दूसरेका धर्म भयको देनेवाला है ॥
You can stop measuring yourself against others and return to the work that is actually yours.
Meaning and commentary → - Bhagavad Gita 2.38 · Krishna
Hold victory and defeat alike, then act.
सुखदुःखे समे कृत्वा लाभालाभौ जयाजयौ । ततो युद्धाय युज्यस्व नैवं पापमवाप्स्यसि ॥
“Treat pleasure and pain, gain and loss, victory and defeat alike. Then enter the battle; you will not incur wrongdoing.”
जयपराजय, लाभहानि और सुखदुःखको समान करके फिर युद्धमें लग जा । इस प्रकार युद्ध करनेसे तू पापको प्राप्त नहीं होगा ॥
Inner steadiness makes hard action possible without guilt or panic.
Meaning and commentary →